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Previously Married?

Q:

Some years ago i was in a haraam relationship with a boy who lived abroad. i no longer talk to the boy and have repented. i've just come to know that nikah can be valid even through jokes. so i've been so stressed so worried what if my nikah with that boy has been done unknowingly. Has Nikah been valid under these circumstances:

1. I text him "Youre my husband" and he reads the text aloud and people with him witness it and he replies aloud and text with people witnessing it "Yes and you are already my wife" ?

2. I text "Am i your wife" He reads the text aloud and replies aloud and by text also to me with people witnessing everything "Yes i have accepted you as my wife"?

please reassure me that my nikah hasnt been done because i've found a good pious man Alhamdoulillah to be my spouse and now im having all these thoughts im so worried if my nikah has already been done then my marriage with this man wouldnt be valid.

plz help. should i ask the boy for talaq?            

also ive read that the everyone should be in same geographical location when nikah is being done in this case i wasnt there with him. also im not sure if there was people with him who witnessed him read the message and reply to me and im also not sure if he read the message loud.

A:

Salaam Alaykum.

Kindly note the following:
 - For nikah to be valid, the girl must be serious and conscious in intention that she wants to marry a particular man. Take note of this statement - "The woman and the man should be willing to enter into a matrimonial alliance. If, however, the woman ostensibly displays hesitation while giving her consent, but it is known that in her heart, she is agreeable to the marriage, the marriage is in order." (Extracted from this link - http://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2346/)
 - Presence of witnesses is not required for validity of nikah
 - For validity of nikah, Geographical location does not matter, you two don't have to be in the same location.

 Once you confirm whether your nikah was valid or not, you will get to know whether talaq is required or not.

Fiddha