You are here

Counsel - Parents/Sile Rehm

Q:

Salaamalaikum. I have parents who have had long standing issues with my brothers wife. There had been some past problems that have to this day gone unresolved. It is now my nephews wedding, and my parents do not want to attend as a result of their problems with his mother. They also do not want me or my wife to attend my nephews wedding in fear of people telling us bad things that will drive me away from my parents.

1. What does islam say on their rights on this matter. In light of no valid reason to not go, should I disobey and go to the wedding?

2. How should one approach to resolve this issue without compromising the respect towards parents that Islam teaches.

A:

Alaikum salam wa Rahmatullah. 
 
Islam regards the issue of parents very seriously as far as obedience and dealing politely with them is concerned but not at the expense of disobeying the commandments of Allah‌ like not following the obligatory laws of Allah. One of the commandments that Allah emphasizes is keeping ties with blood relatives the first category of which are parents and siblings as well as aunts and uncles from parents side.
You can first try explaining your parents about sile rehmi and how much benefit there is if we dont cut off ties even in this world eg increase in sustance and long life etc. Use many ways of doing so but be polite and loving to them. If they dont agree then explain them that it is an obligation on your part also to attend the wedding but just because of pleasing Allah you will do that. If it comes to the point that they would curse you for that then it is better to keep your parents heart then attending the wedding although you have to try all means even if it be you attending it privately without their knowledge or if a big fight would erupt out of it except cursing from them. Remember to keep your good behaviour and be benevolent to them all the while.    
 
Salma Alavi