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Q:

Asslam o alaikum. I am 27 years old and my muta parnter is 37 already married having 3 kids. I was an airhostess when we met n fell in love. This guy drinks and take drugs and goes to mujra parties very often. In start these things didnt bother me and i accompanied him in love and newly situation. With the passage of time this guy emotionally blackmailed me to disclose my past life and mistakes. I did this stupitidy. I told him everything. Later on he used all my past against me and tortured me. I have left my job family and shifted to malaysia to make a home as he gave me false hope that one day he will do permanent nikah. But now he denied and told me that i am the one who trapped him. He is not educated and mannerful person. I have started to pray and became old me what i was before doing this job. But he thinks all i am doing is a drama. I am financially insecure with him. Because in start he said he will do something to secure my future but now when i ask or demand something he says you are very greedy woman all you need is money.. He doesnot need kids from me. I get nothing from him. I am really scared if i leave him my parents not gonna accept me the way it was. They think i am permanently married to this man. They had warned me before marriage but i was blind at that time. I need serious help. Is he just using me or what? Plz plz reply.

A:

Waalaykum Salam

Sorry to hear about your situation. 

It would be hard for me to tell if he is using you or not. but i can help you think furhter and suggest ways to better your life.

1) please seek some counselling. you need someone to hear out your enitre story to be able to tell if he is only using you. A local Aalim is a good option too.

2) praying will really boost you and make you a stronger person. so keep up with that. indeed remeberance of Allah brings Tranquility. 

3) from what i can tell, you are also stressing yourself out for no reason. it is true that your parents will be heart broken if you split. but that does not mean that they wont accept you. i would suggest you patch up your relation with your parents regardless the outcome of this marriage.

4) if there is any person who is influential on your husband, then you must speak to the person so that you can get some straight answers and move on in life. the middle man can help you understand your husand's thoughts on this marriage and if he is serious at all?!

kind regards

Naajiya.S.Jaffery