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Obeying Parents

Q:

Hi Sheikh, originally i am from pakistan I went to Australia for study. I studied and worked there very hard for 8 years. i was very succesfull. i always tried to keep my parents happy, although we had occasional arguments but my intention was always to keep them happy. while i was on holiday in pakistan another pakistani guy living in australia commited murder and used my mobile without my permission to instigate it. ever since then the police there , and this criminal who ran to pakistan to hide are both treatning me , i coudnt even return to australia, i lost every thing there , 8 years of effort all gone to waste. its been 3 years my parents are in alot of stress, i have basically become a failure in life, i tried to find a job in malaysia for 8 months now an trying to find a job in dubai for 2 years, but no luck. on one hand my parents will not allow me to come and try some work in pakistan , they say they feel stress when i am there, on the other hand living in dubai without a job is very expensive, they send me money for expences but it makes me even more stressed to get money from them , i dont want to give any stress to my parents in any way, i dont care about my self, i can make good work in pakistan with my skills but even after intense arguments my parents wont agree, they keep pushing to do something in dubai , and i dont have any money to do anything here, cant even find a job, i am very helpless, All i want is not be a burden on my parents anymore. My parents want me to make living somehow , but with my uncompleted education the only place i can make a living is pakistan. but for some reason they wont listen to me. I dont want to argue with them anymore it hurts me , i feel very sad when my parents are upset. i am innocent of any crime, but i cannot even tell the police i am inocent, fearing for reprecussions from this murdere. i am not worried for myself, i fear Allah and for my family, if it was up to me , i would hunted this guy down and torn him to pieces , i am not a coward, but i have to go to grave, and what will i answer, i am stuck between walls, cannot do anything, can only watch, please advice me something, Surely you have been granted knowledge from Allah, who better would understand his creation than the one who studies his word.

A:

Waalyakum salam 

It is saddening to hear of what has happened to you.

LIfe has its ups and downs and i would ask you to look up ahead instead of regretting your past. 

It is good you love your parents and dont want to stress them out any further, but have you ever thought that if you denied their help without securing a job could only make them more worried?!

so let them feel happy by helping you, atleast temporarily. 

i dont know how strong your relation is with Allah (a)?! sometimes a person just needs a Mighty Powerful being to handle his situation and who else better fits these qualities than Allah (a)?!

make sure you are spending a good amount of time talking to him and expressing your helplessness. This act initself will bring alot of inner peace and make you more hopeful on whats to come.

I would also like to bring to your kind attention that, not doing anything to the fellow in Pakistan does not mean you are a coward. your silence sends a lot of message to him. As it is very well said by Imam Ali (s): Best answer to a fool is silence. however this does not at all mean that you shouldn't stand up for your rights. 
just to elaborate a little further, you see killikng an innocent soul is a major sin, and whoever commits a sin has actually deiceded to stand against Allah the Almighty. therefore the person who actually ruined your life is now standing against Allah (a) Himself. Hence, rest assured that Allah Himself will take care of this.

Also, for your job, i would suggest you speak to a person who your parents will listen to and kind of convince them to allow you to return back to Pakistan, if thats what you feel is the right way.

I hope your isseus are solved. 

Best Wishes,

Naajiya.S.Jaffery