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Curse of a Mother

Q:

Assalamu alaikum.

I'm really WORRIED about a certain matter which disturbing me alot. For example if a mother curses her daughter from heart.. I heard that's granted by Allah! Also the same case I heard goes with the teachers / elders. Firstly, are these true? Secondly, if they are isn't there any way one could refrain herself from it? Won't Allah forgive her? Isn't there ANY way?

A:

Alaykum Salam.

It is true that Aaq e Walidain (disobedient child of parents, who hurts them in anyway) is one of the greater sins,

The Holy Prophet (S) says: “Beware! Abstain from angering the parents. The fragrance of Paradise is perceived even at a distance of a thousand years, but those who are disobedient to parents and those who cut off ties with relatives will not be able to smell it.”

The same applies with regards to disobedience to spiritual fathers (i.e. our teachers and guides to the community) ie to disobey their commands and be heedless of their orders.

Imam Riďa (a.s.) asked, “Won’t you feel bad if your parents are displeased and say that you are not their child?”

Those who were present answered, “Yes”. Imam (a.s.) continued, “The spiritual parents are superior to your biological parents. Do not give them an opportunity to say this. Rather consider yourself lucky be to their son or daughter”

*Ways to remove this "curse":*

*1. While the parent is alive: * 

a. Must prove to the parent that one does not have the intention of repeating the action (of disobedience) again

b. Since it was because of the injustice carried out, that the parent(s) have been hurt, you must show even more respect, love and obedience than before, which will have a softening effect on their hearts. In the end, with total humbleness and seeking forgiveness from Allah and taking the Ahlul Bayt as the mediators, ask the parents to forgive you. Be sure that Allah has created our parents from His Mercy. Therefore it is not possible that their son/daughter should seek forgiveness from them and they should not forgive

*2. While the parent is not alive:*

1. carry out their wajibat which they did not perform while alive eg prayers, fasts, haj khums etc

2. Act upon that which they wrote in their will

3. Do not forget them to the last day of your life. Always ask for their forgivness from Allah and to shower His Mercy on them. Give sadaqa on their behalf. Carry out recommended acts with the intention that the reward should go to them ie Send them spiritual gifts

This is as per hadith of Imam Baqir (alayhis salam) as reported in Usul Kafi, Vol3, pg238

Suggested reading: Greater Sins of Shaheed Dastghaib Shirazi

MD