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Please Advise - Qur'an Memorization

Q:

I have a question regarding the memorizing the Quran and forgetting it. I was 11 or 12 years old when i was admitted to Madrsa to memorize Quran by my parents. I was very young to understand what a great responsibility it is to maintain and keep it. I did memorize the complete Quran in 3 and half years, but it was mainly due to the constant pressure from Parents and and harsh environment of madrisa where we were made spend all day as kids and not given any time to play (I felt more lie a Jail) and all on top of that most of the Ustad's used to beat the shit out of kids. The whole environment was not very encouraging for a kid to love the Book of Allah and Islam overall, I just gave the brief back ground to let you that due to all that i memorized the Quran but it developed a certain hate and rebellion in my heart and mind against the whole thing. So when i was finally completed the Quran and start going to school i never put and effort to reciting Quran and eventually as i went to college and university i barely read it for 8 to 9 years. Now i am 29 doing a good Job and married. I recently started repenting to Allah for the time i have wasted and started working on my Eman and prayers and started reading the Quran nd trying to understand it. and hopefully become a better Muslim. How ever when i read the Quran i took me a lot of time to read it Nazra(From quran) which clearly shows that i don't remember a major part of it. All this makes me so depressed and worried about my life here after, I would like to know what are the choices for me now? how can i repent from this? Do i have to memorize the whole Quran again? or its better for me to start understanding if before putting all that effort to memorize it (which seems very very hard now)?

A:


It's unfortunate that some children have to go to schools the like of which you mentioned. Islam has instructed us that children should be free to play and never be forced to learn anything, until they reach a certain age (7, in most hadith). Even then, the learning should happen with love and patience, creating a thirst for the knowledge. I hope that it is a lesson for all of us in how we deal with our children.

The most important thing regarding the holy Quran is to be guided by it. This requires a very strong loving attachment with the holy book. Any means you employ to arrive to this is beneficial and any thing you do which will not help this must be avoided.

So, having your own personalized Quran, reading it without putting pressure on your self, enjoying learning from it, slowly memorizing verses that are very interesting to you, etc.. Anything that you find is helping you to build a connection with the holy book and through this you are being guided, is a blessed act and inshAllah accepted in the eyes of Allah (swt). Don't feel depressed or negative. The door of His mercy are always open: it's for us to take the step inside and enjoy from His blessings.

With duas,

Miqdad .R.